Gravity Sucks

Not a good start to the day. This morning, whilst opening the curtains in my guvvy room, I managed to knock a bunch of DVDs off one of the shelves. The shelves are new, only put them up on the weekend. They are not quite straight, but I blame next door's spirit level for that. Anyhoo, the pile of disks fell with unerring accuracy on my glass plasma ball thingy. Which is now no more. Oh, it still exists, but as a huge number of tiny shards of class, rather than a single, spherical, item.

You would not believe how many pieces the departed thingy has broken into. I reckon I'm going to have to strip and clean the whole room before I can sit down and watch telly without getting bits of broken glass in my bottom. The only really good news is that I never used the actual plasma ball much, so it is no big loss. For some reason it sent the remote control on the amplifier bonkers, and I've already stolen the power supply for something else.

But I do hate breaking things.

Transparent Time

We are having a transparency audit at work at the moment. This is all to do with working out how much time we spend doing our various tasks. I'm kind of finding it interesting:

"I did that in one hour, so I'll put down how long a mortal would take to do it."

"Phew. That was really difficult. I'll put down six hours for that."

So far this week I have worked seventy three hours.

And the beauty is that unless my boss figures out who is anonymous respondant QX1472J they'll never catch me....

Not Well Endowed

Today we got a cheery letter from our endowment people. This is because, around 20 years ago, we were young and innocent (read that as stupid) enough to take out an endowment mortgage. At the time the oily salesman explained that this was a sure fire way to both pay for our little terraced two up and two down and also set aside a nice little nest egg for our retirement. What he did not happen to mention was that it was the financial equivalent of picking up all our money and tottering into a casino to place it all on black. Of course we did not care. All we saw as a way to get into our first house. So we signed up.

I was kind of hoping that since this policy (the first of three such policies- but let's not go there folks) had been going for a long time and would therefore pay out the required amount. But no such luck. And because of some chicanery (I can think of no other word) by the endowment supplier, we appear not to be eligible for any compensation. Ho hum. Perhaps the yacht will have to wait. I'd love to work in a field where:

1. People give you pots of money.
2. You keep some and go off and gamble with the rest.
3. When you lose the lot you can go and ask them for some more cash and explain that it was not your fault.

Not that I'm bitter or anything.

Freezer of the Rings

Some time back we lost the key to the patio door. We had three when it was installed. And they all vanished. This was particularly vexing for me because, being a far sighted person, I had carefully put one of every important key on to a master ring (one ring to bind them all I suppose). Unfortunately, as an idiotic person, I then promptly lost this hugely important collection of pieces of bent metal. I had this idea that somewhere in a cave some hideous, twisted, creature was going "I wonder what this opens my preciousssssss?". But the truth is far stranger than that.

Today, for the first time in ages, we cleaned out the freezer in the garage. For various reasons (the main one being idleness I suppose) this has not been done for some time. In fact, since well before we lost the keys to the patio door. And you will never guess what we found nestling at the bottom beneath a pizza box.

Oh yes, perfectly preserved - but jolly cold - we found the missing keys. Unfortunately, the patio door ones are now somewhat useless as we had the lock smashed off just so we could open the darned thing. The prevailing theory is that I wandered out into the garage to get something from ye freezer. This meant opening the garage door, which meant keys which meant.....

Oh well.

Subversive Presents

Got to go out and buy some presents today. I'm not that keen on buying presents. If I am going to spend large sums of money on desirable items I want them to be for me. Not someone who won't appreciate them as much as I would . But then again chosing them is sometimes fun. I quite like to get really silly and subversive presents. One little feller of our aquaintance is going to get a set of tubs of things like "ultra sticky bogies" and "an eyeball in slime". His mum is going to love me.....