Specially for Graphics Programmers

I always wanted to make a T shirt with "Fog is nature's way of keeping the frame rate up" written on it.

Happy Snaps

I had to get some more photos of me taken today. It is for my free trip to India in August, so I guess I shouldn't complain too much. Anyhoo, I sat scrunched down in the seat so that my face fitted the oval and was imortalised on film wearing an appropriately grim look.

As I was waiting for the pictures to come out of the slot I got chatting to a little old lady who was sat by the machine, and had watched me go into the booth. "You know", she said, "You can get them done a pound cheaper just over the road". Thanks for that.

Heated Discussion

I've come to the conclusion I don't like the summer. I know that we all wait anxiously for it, and moan when it doesn't turn up (like this year) but when it comes I don't like it.

As David was saying as we wandered out to get an ice cream, if it is cold you can always add another layer. But if it is too hot there is nothing you can do about it once you have taken off all your clothes. The mental image that this conjured up almost put me off my lolly.

Buggy Bug

I excitedly told Peter about my bug purchase at coffee today. "Whatever you do" he said "Don't put the latest version of the software on it". Guess what I had spent last night doing. I suppose I can always remove it, although it seems to work OK at the moment.

I mentioned that sometimes the signal drops and Peter said "Oh, just tie a bit of wire on the end of the aerial". Now if anybody else had said that I would have told them not to be silly and gone into a long discussion about wavelengths and radio waves and stuff and how this could never work, all based on the Physics that I did before I found out about computers.

But Peter is properly qualified and knows about wires and things and so, this lunchtime, I found a bit of spare cable and tied it on the end. And it works. Who says that qualifications are useless?

Cracking Up

If I have my time again I know what I want to be. I want to make car windscreens.  I want a job where the consequences of failure are minimal and customers pay for your mistakes. Today I went out to my shiny new car (not quite as shiny as it used to be - really must wash it) and found an enormous crack in the glass. This has appeared from nowhere, without me doing anything. I'm completely at a loss to explain it. The only thing of which I am absolutely certain is that I did not cause the crack, i.e. it is not my fault. I rang the garage and asked if such things were covered by warranty, since it was obviously faulty.

The chap on the other end snorted and said something along the lines of "Well, it is a windscreen. What do you expect?".  When I mentioned that I did not expect it to break of its own accord he then asked if there had been any rioting or other activity outside my house which might result in such damage. I said that I was pretty confident that nothing of that nature had happened,  I'm sure I would have noticed rampaging street gangs. As far as he was concerned it was not a matter for the manufacturer (i.e. the person who made the car and windows) but the owner (i.e. the person who bought a new car specifically to avoid having to pay for things that drop off it).

So you can make windscreens as duff as you like and if they break it is not your fault. Never. In fact it gets better, since when the screen breaks the poor sucker with the car has  to buy a new one. So you can generate new business simply by turning out screens which self destruct like mine has. 

The only good news is that it is covered by insurance, but it still means I have to mess around getting it fixed and stump up an excess. No fair.