Jokewatching

I think I'm turming into the comedy equivalent of those birdwatching people who spend all day in a field with a pair of binoculors looking for the great crested whatnot. These folks think nothing of spending a whole day standing in the rain wating to get a glimpse of some rare species or other. They must leave home each day with hope burning in their heart that they will actually catch sight of their goal.

This is now the way that I watch comedy programmes. Last night I sat through a whole episode of "My Family". It must have been in the hope that at some point something funny was going to happen. Of course, it didn't. The audience seemed to think that it was hilarious. The same "joke" was repeated numerous times and they laughed obediently each time. I'm not sure how the BBC management do this:

Scene : TV Studio before recording an episode

Stage hand One :  "We've recording a comedy show next"
Stage hand Two: "OK, I'll get a fresh cannister of laughing gas and plug it into the air conditioning"
Stage hand One: "Wait, it's 'My Family', better make that two cannisters"

I can imagine the audience on the way home, having hysterics at their bus tickets and the markings on the road.

Mobile Developer Webcasts From Rob

In a week or so I'm giving my first ever webcast. It is a kind of "remote presentation" where I run through some slides and demonstrate some programming. The audience can chip in and ask questions, and the whole thing is also recorded for posterity so that you can refer to it later. You can connect to it from anywhere in the world and take part via the internet.

This will be number one of a series of 4, all about mobile game development.  If you have ever had an urge to develop a game (on mobile or otherwise) then you might find it interesting.  I'm also going to tell my favourite joke in all the world exactly 23 minutes into the talk, so it is worth tuning in just for that.....

I'm setting up a resource centre on these hallowed pages to underpin the webcasts . I'll be adding stuff as soon as I've finished each talk. Find out more here.

The End of the World?

I keep seeing adverts for things which contain "good bacteria". Which is apparently better for you than "bad bacteria".  How did we get to this?

Meeting at Bacteria HQ:

Bacteria King : "We're in trouble. They keep inventing new ways to kill us. That new Domestos could be the end. Any ideas?"
Bacteria Scientist : "But sire, I have a plan"
Bacteria King : "Do tell.."
Bacteria Scientist : "We train up some of our strongest strains for a top secret operation. We teach them the arts of subterfuge, send them undercover and get them to convince the human scum that they are friendly. Once they are safely established in their yoghurts and health drinks..."
Bacteria King : "..we strike them down. "
(all join in evil laughter)

Remember, you read it here first.

Durham Piccies

Went up to Durham to fetch number one son today. I take my little camera everywhere, and so some pictures were kind of inevitable.

Some flowers near the station.

Sweeeties...

...and garlic. The new taste sensation.

Word Cartoons

I wish I could draw. I'd draw a picture of someone holding a glass of wine which has a harpoon stuck through it. The caption would be "You know, I think my drink has been spiked".