Bring on Happy Hour

Imagine you are going on a journey. You get the car out, and then nip back into the house to fetch your luggage. When you get back outside you find that your car has driven itself off to the garage to sort out a problem with one of the wheel trims and it will be there for the next couple of hours.

I don't think that many drivers would put up with this. But computer users get it all the time.

This morning I needed to use a computer that I hadn't turned on for a while. For some reason I thought this was not going to cause me problems. How wrong I was. When the machine woke up it decided to upgrade its Java installation.

Now, I don't use Java very much, I only added the runtimes so that I could run some programs that I needed to take a look at. Java is a nice enough language, it is just not one that I use any more. I certainly don't need an update. Particularly one which takes the thick end of half an hour, and which seems to lock up the machine while the update completes.

Nothing strikes fear into my heart more than the phrase "New updates are ready to install". This usually means that I have to fire up my other computer so I can get some work done whilst checking on the updating machine for buttons that I need to press. You can't just go off and have a coffee, oh no, because as soon as you turn away from the machine it pops up a spurious dialogue box which you have to click on to start the download of the download downloader or somesuch rubbish.

We really need to get a handle on this kind of thing, the tail has started wagging the dog I reckon. I know you can get the machine to do updates at midnight, but this means leaving the machine on overnight, which I'm not always keen to do and is probably not a very efficient thing to do from an environmental point of view.I get really cross when I fire up my machine and all kinds of dross gets to run before I can see my email.

I think there should be a kind of "happy hour" on a machine when it first wakes up. Rather than starting up all the updates, sidebars, screen savers, sync centers, search indexers, de-fragmenters, bluetooth managers and god knows what else, for the first hour of use a machine should just concentrate on running the programs that I start. Once things have settled down, and I'm sitting there wondering what key to press, then the operating system can start gradually introducing the things that can be left to catch up later. Should be easy enough to add and it would make lots of people happier. Including me.

Hull Photos

Went up town today. Took the tiny camera as it was nice weather. Actually I always take the camera, in case something interesting happens. Nothing interesting, but a few pictures turned out OK.

One of our better logos...

Neat sculpture

Water Polo by the shops

Increase your word power

I upgraded the memory in my Media Centre today. It has been running well, but I'd managed to convince myself that it was short of memory. And I was anxious to make the most of the "ten pounds off every purchase over thirty quid" offer still running at ebuyer.com. The memory arrived today, so it was off with the lid to begin the "two minute job" which was actually plugging in the chips. And I saw what Sony had done. And I said a naughty word.

The memory sockets were right where I could see them, really easy to get at, which was good. However the catches at one side of the sockets were completely fouled up against the graphics card. There was no way to add the memory without taking part of the machine to bits. I'm a great fan of good design. Unfortunately this means that I hate badly designed stuff.  Hence the naughty word.

Anyhoo, I took all the cables and bits and pieces out and got hold of the card. It moved up a quarter of an inch and then stuck. I gave another gentle tug and noticed that other parts of the system board were bending in a generally non-good way. Turns out that, not content with making a mess of the positioning of the memory and graphics card, the designers had also placed some components together which have meshed together in some stupid way, so the card would not come out.  So I said another naughty word and had tea.

Incidentally, have you ever noticed how it us usually time to eat just at the point where a tricky job becomes critical? You're just about to fire up the program for the first time/start the engine/wire up the lightning conductor and throw the circuit breaker etc when the oven timer goes ping and you have to walk away and eat. There was a time when this used to infuriate me, but now I take it in good grace, walk away from the job and then go back with a fresh mind and a full stomach. In this case it was probably a good thing, because on return I managed to slide the card sideways and "twang" the memory in without any further ado.

Then it was time to test the system, put the lid on, and see what happens next. Shaun the sheep looks just the same, of course, but on the whole I'm happier.

Alien Plots

Wednesday: Go to see Spiderman, where a sticky oozy thing takes over the hero and turns him into some kind of extra powerful evil version who wears his hair down over one eye.

Thursday: Get some chewing gum on my shoe.

Coincidence? I think not. Now, where's my comb?

Slide 7 Conference Registration Open

Two years ago I helped set up a student conference down at Microsoft Reading. Everyone turned up, had a great time, learned stuff, drank some beer and went home. It was called Slide 5.

It was good.

Microsoft are doing it all again. Compelling (and very useful) content. Microsoft experts to talk to. A sesson from me. Free food (a BBQ even). And beer. Slide 7 is on the 18th of June and registration is free. You can find out more, and sign up, here.

If you are lucky enough to be a student at Hull who is still in Hull on the 17th - 18th I'm taking a mini-bus down to the event. We are going to stay in a Travelodge on the Sunday night and then go to the conference on Monday. You can sign up for a place on the magic bus here.