Happy Birthday Geoff, and here's to Useless Objects

Geoff came round tonight to collect his birthday present. I got him something which contains a large number of brightly coloured plastic parts and is completely useless. I have a strong policy where Geoff is concerned of supplying only completely useless birthday presents. I mean, socks are useful, enough said.

I'm a bit concerned to find that The Gadget Shop, a local purveyor of useless artifacts, is having financial worries at the moment. But then, I suppose there is always the internet. I think helping to locate useless stuff was one of its design aims.

Galactic Conspiracy

I've been thinking more about my microwave clock. I don't think that it is really broken. I think it has been infected with an evil computer virus from the Cylons as part of their ongoing mission to destroy all mankind by burning our porridge and causing our baked potatoes to explode. On the other hand, I might have been watching too much of the new Battlestar Galactica...

Actually, you should all give it a look - the production values, acting and storyline are all very good. Number one son put me on to it and we have just enjoyed watching the feature length introduction. A new boxed set beckons.

Clock Of Madness

The timer on our microwave has gone bonkers. Half of the segments in the display have gone wonky and now every cooking operating is a voyage into the unknown. Number one wife likes porridge each morning cooked in the microwave. I wonder if she minds if it is grilled?

Not At All Suited

My new suit is turning into a soap opera. Having been carefully measured by an expert we went in a month back for a fitting and thought we'd been given the wrong one. It was probably made to measure, it was just not using my measurements. If I was the shape the suit was constructed for I'd be even more deformed than I realy am. We sent it back to have things done and now it has returned. Close but no cigar. The idea of wearing a suit is to impart gravitas and prescence. Not look like you are wearing somebody else's clothes.

The man who knows about these things is not around today. So we will have to sort it out next week. Joy.

Chocolate Day Minus Two

Two more days and I can eat chocolate again. I gave it up for Lent and, except for a lapse in Waitrose yesterday, (they were giving away free samples and my instinct for something for nothing took over before I remembered) I have done pretty well. I've a little pile of chocolatey commestibles which I'm looking forward to eating when the time comes.

I hope I haven't gone off the stuff.