World Domination Thwarted

I was thinking about creating a thousand killer robots to do my bidding.

But then I remembered that I don't go to many auctions.

...and as a follow up

What do you call a piece of clip art that defects to the enemy?

A loyalty free image.

Open For Business

Had our first open day of the year today. I did my usual warm up and got laughs in most of the right places. Then we gave away a Playstation Portable to one lucky attendee. I've started telling people who come for a visi that I will be the person teaching them to program if they come to Hull.

Not sure if this is a good idea...

Fit To Drop

The Simpsons Programme for exercise is coming along. This evening I trudged through "Bart the General" and still have some breath left. The idea is that greater physical fitness will bring with it improved concentration, humour, vision and hopefully dress sense.

MySpace is not My Space. Yet.

Someone I know is now on MySpace. I've been checking it out. Maybe I got stuck in a loop of people, but everyone seems to be the kind of person that you see in Gap adverts. They are all young (by my standards), have dynamic looking pictures, are slightly goofy but serious deep down y'know and into things like Tai Chi (whatever that is).

This is supposed to be the new, happening thing which will change the way that people live/work/play/meet/greet/eat/sleep etc etc. I'm not that convinced. But I might get some space anyway, it is free after all and someone on there says she would like to meet "Anyone who owns fainting goats". I've just googled this, and they do exist.

Tall People Eh?

Ever wanted to throw things at the telly? Tonight on the local news they had this bloke who was moaning about how hard it is to be tall. He was around the same height as me (perhaps slightly shorter - I really hope so) and so they photographed him squeezing into tiny cars (with the seat obviously set as far forward as possible) and looking forlorn outside clothes shops. The report didn't really go anywhere, except that he was unhappy about being tall and presumably expected people to feel sorry for him.

I guess it must have been a slow news day. Perhaps tomorrow they'll have someone who is blonde going on about how hard it is to be blonde and have to endure all those "dumb blonde" jokes. Then on Wednesday they can bring in a person with big ears and a big nose who will complain how hats never fit and tissues never seem large enough.

Well, really. As a tall, blonde person with big ears and a big nose (who will therefore presumably get called in on Thursday so they can shout "full house") I can state that life for someone in my position is actually not that bad. Sure, I can't buy clothes that easily, but if you liked shopping for clothes as much as I do this would not seem to be a problem. And as for stupid comments, I am in the perfect position to rise above them. So there.