The Turn of the Seasons

I love the way that the seasons change in this country. The chill of winter gives way to the brightness of spring, which in turn steps aside to bring the heat of summer. And now we are seeing the mists, golds and browns of autumn. And I have a great big pile of leaves to clear off the lawn..

Don't Think Ill of Me

From the past couple of posts you may have formed the impression that I am some kind of dangerous type who plays with lifts and stuff. This is not true. Although I did think about going into an "Everything for a pound" shop, offering a pound and saying "Right, give me everything". But I never dared actually do it. And anyway, they probably get around fifty people a day who try that one.

The seminar was interesting. And there was a free plastic cup of coffee at the end. Double win!

Questions, Questions

...or how about getting a piece of bent metal, painting it red, putting a label "Lift Descent Speed Governer - do not remove" on it and leaving it on the floor of the lift (or just outside for someone else to find).

Looks like an interesting seminar on Wednesday which I'm going to go to. I've always wondered when they have a full nar....

Lift Laughs

We've just had our lift refurbished. One of the refurbishments includes the addition of a stentorian voice which says "Third Floor" and "doors opening" at nearly appropriate moments. This, along with a resounding "Bing Bong" to announce the arrival of the dangling box, is slowly driving mad those of us lucky enough to be in earshot of the darned thing.

We were talking about fun things you could do with a lift like this. I suggested putting, in the corner of the lift, a half empty drum of wire which is labelled "Acme Safety Lift Cable. Not to be used after 1998". That should get the pulses racing.

The Smell of the X Factor

I'm trapped in a house with two people who like "Casualty" and "X-Factor". This makes Saturdays a particularly unpleasant day of the week since both of these stupid programs are on. I don't want to think about Casualty just now as a person only has so much contempt in them on a daily basis, so instead let us consider X-Factor.

In case you haven't seen this, it consists of a seedy bunch of impresario touting different types of performing seal (sorry musical act) in front of each other, being rude about the acts and saying things like "I'm sorry Kelly, (or whatever name) I know you are 19 had have your whole life ahead of you but it turns out that you can't sing (or dance or whatever) and that therefore you have no future". One of the touts is the lady who had the sense and good taste to marry Ozzie Osborne. Nuff said. (actually I quite like the Osbornes, but that gets in the way of the rant a bit I suppose).

Anyhoo, rest of family is transfixed by this unpleasant tosh and so I have to go upstairs and watch quality entertainment on DVD. Thank heavens for The Simpsons.